I sometimes feel like I don't have a boyfriend because I'm fat.
There. I said it (ok I wrote it) out loud and it looks as stupid as it sounds. Incredibly stupid. If I was talking to someone and they said that about themselves I would straight up punch them in the neck. For serious. No hesitation. I would make sure they were ok (of course - come on - I'm not a monster) and then punch them again - just so they knew how ridiculous they were being.
So then why is it ok to say it to myself? And I say it to myself way more than I want to admit.
People tell me that I'm funny, and smart, and a good person (and beautiful like the sun with the smile of a thousand rainbows.....Ok no one has ever said that...but I wish they would*). So then it's only logical for me to think that I don't have a boyfriend because of the way I look. Haha. "Logical". There is NOTHING logical about it!! It's crazy!! It's the craziest thing to think!! But here I am thinking it.
Now I want to be clear - I'm not writing this for people to say to me "Oh you! You're beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you blah blah blah!!" No I guess i'm writing it so I can read it back and see how silly it sounds. Sometimes it feels nice to write something down so it's out in the open, rather than have it bouncing around my brain every second of the day.
Is there anyone else out there that feels like this sometimes? Or felt like it once but by some miracle you have figured out how to make your brain stop saying silly things? I'd like to know.....So I can come over and punch you in the throat**.
*I would never stop laughing if somebody actually said this to me. And was super serious about it.
**I would never actually punch you in the throat. Maybe pinch you. Or flick you really hard on the top of your hand. That would get the point across I think.
***It is really hard for me to press "Publish Post" on this one. I'm being super for real honest here and it's SCURRY for me to think people are gonna read it. EEEEEEEEK!!
